Separation is hard enough without adding legal stress on top. If you're trying to sort out who keeps what, from the house to the super, it can all feel like one big emotional and financial minefield.
The good news? Not everything has to go to trial.
In many family law matters, the court gives you a chance to resolve things earlier, through something called a conciliation conference. It's more structured than mediation but far less intimidating than standing in front of a judge.
If you’ve got one coming up and aren’t sure how it works, here’s what to expect and how to walk in feeling ready.
It’s a court-run negotiation session, but far more relaxed than a courtroom hearing.
A conciliation conference is led by a registrar who is a neutral decision-maker who’s not there to pick sides, but to help both parties work toward agreement. These conferences happen during property proceedings in the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia.
They’re usually held in person at a registry or online via Microsoft Teams. Both parties attend, usually with their lawyers. You’ll each have a chance to explain your position, review documents, and talk through possible outcomes. If you're both open to compromise, it can be a turning point.
The big difference is that this process is court-supervised. It’s part of your legal matter, not something arranged privately.
The registrar can check whether everyone’s followed earlier court directions, especially around financial disclosure. If there’s agreement, they can also help turn it into legally binding consent orders right then and there.
Unlike mediation, it’s not purely voluntary. It’s part of the path to trial, but ideally, you won’t need to go that far.
There’s no one-size-fits-all format, but here’s what typically happens:
Sometimes the registrar floats possible compromises. Other times, it’s more about giving both sides space to reflect and shift position. If you strike an agreement, it can be made binding immediately.
And if you don’t? That’s okay too. Plenty of people settle later, once the options become clearer.
This part really matters. The more organised and informed you are, the smoother it goes.
Under Rule 4.03 of the Family Law Rules, both parties are required to give full and frank disclosure of their financial circumstances. This ensures the registrar has a clear view of the asset pool during conciliation. That includes current bank statements, super balances, property valuations, debts, and any business records.
If one of you owns or controls a company or trust, the court may also need to consider how that business is valued. It’s not always straightforward, which is why full disclosure is so important.
This isn’t just about splitting things 50/50. Factors like your contributions, children’s needs, health, and income potential all come into play.
If your agreement includes things like selling property or repaying shared loans, it helps to ensure those terms are clearly worded and enforceable when formalised.
If there's been a history of abuse or intimidation, you can ask for special arrangements. This might mean attending from a separate room, using break-out sessions, or doing the conference entirely online.
Where there are deeper safety concerns, registrars often structure the day differently to reduce contact and anxiety. The court takes risk in family law matters seriously, and the setup of the conference reflects that.
If you reach an agreement, you won’t just shake hands and walk away. The registrar can help turn that agreement into a formal set of consent orders, which are legally enforceable.
This can cover who gets what, when assets must be transferred or sold, and how super or debt is split. It’s the same outcome you’d get at the end of a trial, just without the stress, cost, and unpredictability.
For many, this is a massive relief. After months of back-and-forth, it can feel like finally getting your life back on track.
Not every matter settles at conciliation, and that’s not a failure.
Sometimes the gap is just too wide. Other times, people need more time to reflect, especially if emotions are still running high. If you don’t reach an agreement, the next step is usually a formal offer of settlement, followed by court preparation if needed.
From that point on, everything becomes more formal: evidence, submissions, and court dates. It’s higher-stakes and higher pressure. If you're dealing with a complicated asset pool or one party hasn’t been forthcoming with information, the court will step in to resolve it.
You don’t have to love the idea of conciliation. But it might just give you what the court often can’t, a say in how things end. A chance to wrap things up with dignity. And maybe even walk out of that room with a clearer, lighter future.
If you’re heading into a conciliation conference and could use calm, practical guidance, reach out to Hillcrest Family Lawyers. We’ll help you prepare with confidence and show up for yourself when it matters most.
